Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why am I SO Angry?

I'm angry.


But I don't know why.

It's my day off and I SHOULD be relaxing. Well I guess I did relax earlier. I woke up late (well that's normal... haha - oh yeah oops, what about my sleep patterns improving again.....), I drank coffee and read, I went shopping for kitchen toys (my new favorite things to buy), and then went grocery shopping (which is, oddly enough, my favorite type of shopping).

And then I got angry when I came home. I felt like I had wasted my day. I never see my friends anymore. All I do is work, come home, hang out with Z, and grocery shop. God, it sounds like I'm having a midlife crisis and I'm not even 30 yet!!!

Even though I have quite the social job - being a bartendress means constantly conversing with guests and whatnot - I still feel disconnected with people. I love (most) of my guests though. They are hilarious and talk about interesting things (or they talk about boring things which ends up being hilarious because it's SO awkward). But talking to my customers at my bar while I'm working does NOT equal a social life.

I'm bad at making time for people, I admit it. I usually blame my weird restaurant-job schedule but that is just a wimpy excuse. I could definitely do better about making plans with people.

And then I wouldn't be so ANGRY! And I would have other things to talk to Z about. Since usually I just bitch about work ---which usually just leads to an unnecessary argument about nothing.

I should figure out what activities prevent me from angry episodes like this one.... hmm.... ideas?

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