Bartender Tales: whoa there racism

Working as a bartender allows me to observe the strange behaviors of people and as an anthropologist I find this fascinating and amusing. I have the usually drunk people insanity stories, but sometimes behavior truly shocks me.

First some background. The restaurant where I work is located in a highly diverse neighborhood. The neighborhood is largely hispanic, but also includes plenty of other minority groups. If you're into ethnic food, it's like heaven. There are El Salvadoran, Mexican, Italian, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, etc etc restaurants all over the place. I love diversity and so I naturally thrive on the mixture of cultures that surround me.

About a week ago, a middle-aged white man came to my bar and order a beer. As I brought his oh-so-delicious Miller Lite draft to him (seriously? you want to drink water beer?), he made a comment: "So you're American, right?"

(In my head: um... what? we ARE in the US!)

Kelly: um, yeah I'm from here.

Guy: I haven't seen an American in a while!

(In my head: WHAT?!?! Do you think we're in France or something? Surprise! there are Americans everywhere IN THE USA)

Kelly: um...ok?

Guy: Well, you know because you ARE a minority around here....

(WHAT THE F-BOMB!!!! Sooooo because I'm white that means I'm American ... and since the majority of people in this neighborhood are not white that must mean they AREN'T American?!?! Holy shit ! On top of that... if I'm a random white girl working in a place full of minorities why would you even think that I would agree with or appreciate your statement?!)

Kelly: ..... *and walks away before I punch him in the face*

Immediately following this I told my Latino manager the story. He was furious and about to kick the guy out of the restaurant. Fortunately the guy was gone and there was no angry scene.

But seriously? How are people soooo stupid and insensitive?

Rules of margarita-making

So I have split personalities somewhat. I'm an ESL/EFL teacher by day and a drink slinging bartender by night (I need a superhero name, quick!). Strangely enough though, teaching and bartending have an awful lot of similarities which is probably why I enjoy both so much. But that is a story for another day. Today the topic is MARGARITAS.

So I have worked in two types of restaurant bars: Anonymous American fare and Anonymous Tex-Mex fare. Each one had a different recipe. As you can probably guess, the Anonymous Tex-Mex fare restaurant made them better. This fact and numerous experience drinking margaritas at other location has led me to the conclusion that one should only drink margaritas at a Mexican, Tex-Mex, or Latino style restaurants.

The Anonymous American Fare restaurant I work at now makes HORRID margaritas. Besides the typical 3 to 1 tequila to triple sec ratio, we have to mix in some weird combination of Orange juice, splash of lime, and sour mix. I guess this doesn't sound so bad, but trust me it is. First off, there is too much juice mixer added in general. Second, a REAL margarita doesn't use SOUR MIX!!! YUCK. (on top of everything, we use an extremely cheap sour mix which tastes extremely watered down.

Kelly's Rules about Margarita Making:

- Never use sour mix

- only use lemon and lime (OK, throw some sugar or simple syrup in there if it's too tart for your taste) (Orange juice is OK only if it's a Gold margarita - gold tequila and Grand Marnier)

- always drink margaritas on the rocks, never frozen. Frozen margaritas are for wussies. But leaving the name calling out, putting a margarita through the blender melts the ice excessively then waters down and destroys the taste of the tequila. If you want a frozen margarita please don't waste your expensive bottle of tequila, grab that plastic one that smells like hangovers and spring break parties.

-salt the rim. It's not a margarita without the salt. Sorry.

OK now close your eyes and imagine you're on a warm beach with beautiful blue water. Margarita Mission: successful.