The Waiting Game

The first week was a much needed vacation. Time to relax, time to de-stress, time to cook, time to clean (ha! yeah right!), time with Z, time to be happy. Lovely.

The second week was for getting down to business AKA finding a job. The day before operation "get job," a promising job ad popped up during an internet search. Wait no, it was more than promising - it was ideal. Applying and interviewing ended with a positive feeling (on both sides, I believe).

So I put off searching further because I didn't want to run the risk of settling for something less ideal. (This might seem crazy, but if I could tell you the details of what this opportunity has to offer then you would understand)

And now I'm waiting. And waiting. And hoping it's worth this awful exercise in patience.

I don't like being unemployed. Besides the lack of money, I'm unbearably bored! I'm restless and sick of the inside of my apartment. But I'm trying to stop myself from spending unnecessary money. I'm even sick of watching re-runs of Law & Order!

I also miss people. Going from bartending to hanging out at home alone all the time is shocking. I need some social interaction! I'm afraid I'm going to turn into that crazy woman who talks to everyone at the grocery store about which melon is the ripest.

Help! I need advice about how to not go insane!

Why am I SO Angry?

I'm angry.

Again.

But I don't know why.

It's my day off and I SHOULD be relaxing. Well I guess I did relax earlier. I woke up late (well that's normal... haha - oh yeah oops, what about my sleep patterns improving again.....), I drank coffee and read, I went shopping for kitchen toys (my new favorite things to buy), and then went grocery shopping (which is, oddly enough, my favorite type of shopping).

And then I got angry when I came home. I felt like I had wasted my day. I never see my friends anymore. All I do is work, come home, hang out with Z, and grocery shop. God, it sounds like I'm having a midlife crisis and I'm not even 30 yet!!!

Even though I have quite the social job - being a bartendress means constantly conversing with guests and whatnot - I still feel disconnected with people. I love (most) of my guests though. They are hilarious and talk about interesting things (or they talk about boring things which ends up being hilarious because it's SO awkward). But talking to my customers at my bar while I'm working does NOT equal a social life.

I'm bad at making time for people, I admit it. I usually blame my weird restaurant-job schedule but that is just a wimpy excuse. I could definitely do better about making plans with people.

And then I wouldn't be so ANGRY! And I would have other things to talk to Z about. Since usually I just bitch about work ---which usually just leads to an unnecessary argument about nothing.

I should figure out what activities prevent me from angry episodes like this one.... hmm.... ideas?